Single in the City: Intelligence Button? Anyone?

Dating is like getting lost in a book shop, loads of the same old story, stories that bore you after the first sentence,books you only want to read once and every now and then something you want to take home with you. 

I am just going to put this out there - dating is exhausting!! I quite literally feel like my mind has run a marathon after several weeks on dating apps. Usually when I go on Bumble, I get about 12-20 matches, out of those I start a conversation with maybe 3 and then maybe two reply. Along with deciding which various matches I can be bothered to talk to; actually striking up conversations and then going the extra mile and meeting them just seems like way too much effort.

I lead a very busy life as it is, I'm up three times a week at 5:30am for gym sessions, my evenings are filled with catching up with friends, networking events and theatre trips. And over my dead body will I give up my evenings in with a book to meet someone I don't even know - less than zero interest in that.

So this Intelligence Button... 

The one thing that has struck me over and over again in this process is how much time I would save if there was a way to vet the guy's intelligence before actually going on a date. Just imagine how great this would be - and, my friends, I am not alone in thinking this. I have had countless conversations with my friends and relative strangers over this and I get the same, familiar story every time: they seem OK to start with, then you meet them and realise that they're a complete idiot and you would much rather be in bed catching up on Orange is the New Black (true story!).

We are the generation of instant gratification, we choose potential partners based on shallowness and lust, and we like the fact that we can get rid of them as easily as we find them. But it's time consuming and frankly, quite boring.

Now I don't want to be mean to the general population of Bumble Boys, I am sure there are some great guys out there. I am sure most of you aren't complete idiots, in fact I know you aren't all stupid, so a shout out to all the lovely intelligent men I have been on dates with, and it's a shame that you are the minority. Unfortunately, however, I have had the 'pleasure' of meeting some guys who are at the opposite end of the spectrum and there have been times where I have promptly stopped talking to them, made a speedy exit or simply banged my head on the table in despair!

Go on, give me some examples:

These are all 100% legitimate things which have been said to me

- "Obviously Nigel Farage wouldn't outright lie(!) but at least if he got in we would have some good leadership" - Ben* (ironically only half English)

- "So I have a confession to make - I found your blog" - I would like to point out that this was said on the first date and he didn't even know my second name - BACK OFF YOU CRAZY STALKER!

- "So feminists are just men haters" - Liam *facepalm*

- "You definitely aren't from Kenya because...well....you know..." - Go on Joe - finish the sentence!

- "I haven't seen The Book of Mormon because I don't want to be converted" - Alrighty then Alex

- "Well all women want is marriage and babies" - Matthew, you poor misinformed man - what a one-dimensional life you must lead

- "White male privilege doesn't exist" - my ex (relationship ended two days later)

- "You went to a Burlesque performance? What was it like being the only girl in a strip club?"  Chris, please don't talk about things you don't know about

- "Caitlin Moran? Yeah she has done pretty well considering her sex change" - Pahahaha go back to school Jake, go back to school!

Anyway my point is, these instant gratification apps, with their pictures and maybe a line or two of text about the opposite sex are very hollow and boring as hell. I have been talking to so many guys on them and the more and more the conversations go on the more I am dumbfounded by the lack interesting people out there. So my next steps will be to come up with some great questions that I can ask any guy to gauge how intelligent he is. Who's with me?


*All names have been changed in case any more of the guys are crazy stalkers